I'm not dealing with things very well this week. It's annoying because I'm not sure why that is. I think it's just that the holidays are looming, and I feel like I need the time at home to just chill and also to get everything back in order. Over the course of the term I've let things slide downhill, like readings and keeping up to date with uni stuff, and feeling on top of everything. But I think that as it's gone on, and the content is getting more involved, I've slowed down with understanding it all. Plus I totally write off the weekends (which, in my opinion, is fantastic), so sometimes haven't gotten myself organised for Mondays, which leaks into Tuesdays, and then the whole week seems like it's a big rush. I think it's also because there's another assignment due this week, which is proving difficult to understand and know what's relevant to write. I got my first assignment back yesterday, which I thought I hadn't done all that well in, but actually got 12/15 or 82%, so that was mildly encouraging. But once again I feel like I'm just getting a little snowed under.
Not to mention that lately I seem to explode at every little thing someone says to me at home... It's not giving me a good reputation around the house, since everyone's afraid I'm going to go off at them for making a little joke. Even I know that I'm overreacting, but it still comes out of me! I'm sure it's just related to the stress and fear of not having enough time to finish this assignment well, and the fact that I don't know what I should be doing doesn't help. I'm the sort of person who needs specific guidelines or be told the steps to be able to do something well! So when the question says to be creative and interpret it in your own way, I'm kinda left flailing! Wish I wasn't like that.
Hmm, I also wish that I wasn't always complaining! I know there are things to be looking forward to (they're the reason time seems to be going by at a snail's pace), but there's also uncertainties about those things too! I LIKE HAVING PLANS!!! But unfortunately, I always think of something to plan far too late to actually do something about it. Then I'm just left disappointed. Much like this stupid stimulus, which I'm almost certain now I wont be getting. The government are so tricky, wording the criteria so that everyone believes one thing, then when the time comes, they are told another that you'd need a doctorate in tricky government wording to have picked up on! Sneaky butt-faces.
Anyway, I should probably attempt to actually open the assignment file and pretend to do some work. Make myself feel better (or more likely, worse). Sorry this has been another depressing post, I'll try to have some positive ones soon!
Xox
